Counting My Blessings

Monday

Day 20:

Countdown 101 Days

Whaaatt??!! Tomorrow is the 3 week mark! I got a text today from one of my girlfriends of a screen shot showing her plane ticket purchase!

This Is Happening! Nashville is coming up quick and I’m getting so excited!

To me these are BiG Happenings! I don’t normally get super excited about things for fear that I will be let down.

Well that’s just a boring way to live! I’m getting excited! I’m researching fun places to see and do, touristy things that are a must, historical and educational things ( I know it sounds nerdy but those are ALWAYS the experiences that yield the most memory) and I’m just plain old excited to spend some time with my friends !

Another Monday in the books! I’m working through the balance of making time for me and my kid during these summer days. Balancing it all with one. There’s A LOT we do together but also times when I have to demand that he busy himself without my help. It’s always work to ENFORCE and sometimes I feel guilty, but he will play on his own, or read, or imagine he is fighting crime and being some kind of superhero. If I start he usually can continue to stay busy.. Sometimes I’ll say go find some bugs, catch a frog, water the plants, etc but he’s too smart and knows I need to do something and he’ll just want to be a part of it.

Most days when my husband comes home from work, I’m in the same space doing the dishes or checking my phone, and my kid is watching a tv show followed by a “I swear we weren’t doing this all day!”

Why do I feel I have to justify that? Can I just be confident in the accomplishments of the day!

There are so many roles and hats to wear, that don’t put any cash in the bank and so it often feels like it’s not worth anything, which leads to a hashing out of all the things I swear got accomplished!

Choosing to be home with my kid is a challenge but a well worth sacrifice. Lots of doubts try to invade accompanied by feelings of inadequacy for not working as much as my spouse.

But I know it’s okay. Its summer and routine in some ways get tossed to the sideline.

Summer is a short season and so it’s hard to admit when I DON’T take advantage of all the moments to give my best energy to playtime. But sometimes I fail. So today I tried to be more present!

My kid joined me as I exercised. He would start a move and stop more than half way through the allotted time to make sure he told me “mom that’s an easy one you need to go faster!”

We had fun working together…somewhat! It was actually motivating for both of us!

At the end of the day I have a happy kid, and so many blessings to count. I need to count them as reminders to outbid the complaints!

Balance Balance Balance! It’s so hard to strike in EVERY area and near impossible, but I won’t stop trying!

Until tomorrow!

( I posted this one minute after July 9!!!!) also I failed on going to bed early

Peace!

Cast it Down

Sunday

Day 19:

Countdown 102 Days

 

 Today I tried another yoga class, and I really enjoyed it. During one part everyone starting humming really loud on an exhale. I’ve taken max probably 10 yoga classes over my lifetime, and this was new to me. It kind of caught me off guard at first, so I just breathed out with a regular breathe trying not to burst into uncontrollable laughter, to not seem like a jerk.

I didn’t laugh, I also didn’t buzz on my exhale…I PROMISE I’ll be researching more about this practice to better understand and develop a deeper respect for the things I don’t know.

There was this one yoga class I took with my mom and our friend and we were introduced to the “happy baby pose”. My mother and I were laying on the floor side by side, trying to copy the move of grabbing the bottoms of our feet with legs outstretched while rolling around from side to side…we couldn’t help but break out the giggles…

I mean isn’t that a true happy baby?

We quickly learned laughing really loud is NOT good “practice” during a yoga class.

There’s a first time for everything.

I’m enjoying yoga it’s a workout for sure, and it doesn’t require cardio but muscles are still working. It’s a good practice for someone like me who likes to move around a lot. There are many instances in which STILLNESS is encouraged, of body and MIND. I’m always racing around in my mind about the sound my rings make on the floor, or if I’m getting dangerously close to kicking someone in the face, or if I’m following the directions right. Those are the thoughts the teachers’ try to encourage you to not focus on, and that’s the part I like.

Today was a challenge to rest in my mind, not only in class but throughout my day. I’m learning to CAPTURE thoughts that don’t belong, thoughts I shouldn’t feed into, thoughts I need to THROW OUT.

This thought process led me to a truth found in 2 Corinthians 10:5 which says, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”

What? How can I seriously captivate EVERY THOUGHT to the obedience of Christ…what the heck does that even mean???? Is that even possible?

Here’s how I see this verse actually playing out in my life. I imagine myself with a super power, and out of my hands comes this energy ball of light, and every time I muse too long on something using my own understanding, I take my hands and make this imaginary circle around the thought, capturing it into a glowing orb of spacey colors.  Then, my Master is before me, and all I see is white light and it’s too bright to focus but I sense peace, joy, and an overwhelming feeling of glory, to which I’m forced to bow towards, and in that moment I lay the thought bubble at His feet and a sweeping calm comes over me and I’m free from me.

BOOM! Thought captivated!

I’m still learning who God is, the depths of His ways are far beyond my limited understanding, but in all things I’m drawn to seek Him…even during a yoga class. 

Well, tomorrow is Monday and the week is written out, but I’m certain there will be lots of uncertainty. I’ll continue to work hard to cast down signs of defeat and keep on keeping on!

I hope you will too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SLEEP

Saturday

Day 18:

Countdown 103 Days

Webster’s definition of sleep-

a condition of rest in which the eyes are closed, the muscles are relaxed, and the mind is unconscious

There are so many topics floating around in my brain that I wanted to focus on today in order to write a nice thought out and thorough post about motivation, goals and meeting them, but tiredness took over. At 1 p.m. I was ready to collapse. I actually was on a baseball field with my kid throwing pitches. Each time he hit the ball, I walked in slow motion to retrieve them. My energy level was below zero and I could barely muster the energy to even tag with him the ball. He was not amused, and was running laps around the bases waiting for me to chase him…I needed a NAP!

A good night’s sleep is FUEL for me, and when I don’t get it, I fee like garbage. When I was younger I HATED SLEEP, I fought it and was in denial of it being a necessity for living a full life! I can remember going to “sleep over’s” and my parents always looking at me with concern and verbal warning, “make sure you sleep or you’ll get sick”.

I remember HATING to hear those words of warning, because

A. Sleep NEVER happened when with my friends, and

B. I had to fight harder to NOT get sick just to prove them wrong

Without fail, I’d get sick but I’d try to fight through it in my mind. I thought if I just tell myself, ‘I’M NOT SICK, I’M FINE’, no one will know that I really am!

Lies of my youth!!

No matter what I’d say to defend my non sickly state my parents would say

“we can tell you’re sick because your eyes say it”…

another phrase I HATED hearing.

Fearing to look them in the eyes, knowing they would see!

Thoughts of “AHHH!!! they were right! I should have just went to bed!

They would then strip me of my social freedom, and force me to…

REST!

HOW DARE THEY?? WHAT A NERVE!!!

Rest felt like punishment. I always felt like I was going to miss something.

Years later…I’m learning to appreciate the importance of SLEEP. And those warning signs of dear ole mom and dad on repeat saying,

“Rest Shel, gotta get ya rest!”

My goals are harder to meet when sleep is lacking. I have to learn to value the day for doing and the night for rest.

Time represents an ordered balance. A balance I strive for daily, but don’t always obtain. I observe it every day with the rising and setting of the sun.

Learning to place myself, my desires, and my health, within the frame of a given time, daily, is CHALLENGING. And sleep must be included or …

I’m off balance!

Today my exercise routine happened because I purposed to make it happen. I wanted to do it and that’s why it got done. My body didn’t want to, it wanted to sleep, but my mind valued its’ importance…and BODY FOLLOWED SUIT!

Sleep is starting to feel more important as I’m working towards meeting other goals, which can’t be met if I feel weary!

It took me a long time to realize that REST matters and I’ve had to pay a price for denying my body that attention.

Sleep is needed to STAY AWAKE and enjoy life, to be engaged, energized, ACTIVE and SO MANY OTHER THINGS!

So, I’m going to close my eyes, relax my muscles, and have my mind enter a state of unconsciousness.

Good Night!